When we first get sober and truly surrender, some of us may experience the feeling of embarrassment or humiliation for what we have done in the past. We look back on the not-so flattering things we’ve done and cringed at the thought of our transgressions. This feeling is normal at first.
It isn’t until we hear those around us and share our experiences that we realize that all those things have actually made our story what it is. Sharing that story is the true gift. Even though we felt embarrassed, we share to relate to others and the beauty of the process is that someone else out there has been where we are. They can relate to us and us to them. Our shameful experience really aren’t shameful experiences. They are a most powerful tool in helping others. When a newcomer feels that they can relate to you, the process of recovery gets a bit easier for both parties.
Now, looking back on our past is not painful, it’s joyous because we know that all those experiences have helped us grow and more importantly, helped a newcomer realize they are not alone.
I am grateful for my new personality. Today I will attempt to be aware of my new personality. I pray that I do not return to my old ways.