One of the glaring characteristics that an active addict and alcoholic possesses is the ability to manipulate people. A component that addiction needs to keep it “alive” is to get what it wants. That usually entails the person that is using drugs and alcohol to lie, cheat, and steal. They usually do it to the people that are closest to and love them the most. The addict seeks the avenues for more money, shelter, and sympathy.
Family members of people that are struggling with addiction are put into their own prisons. We often forget that as human beings we have certain rights. They get compromised on a daily basis. Remember that you have the right to be treated with respect. You have the right to feel safe from being threatened physically, verbally, and emotionally.
Here are a few ways that will hopefully help the person with addiction in your life to get help. Although this is not easy by any means, if you practice this on a daily basis, regardless of what happens to the other person, you will begin to heal.
Learn How To Say No…..Nicely
- Learning and mastering the ability to say no is one of the greatest tools you will learn to use. Being able to say no for requests for money, shelter, cars, and anything else the addict needs that is yours will relay to the person that you have set boundaries. After hearing no for what they want will eventually get them to stop asking. When enough people tell an addict no, it cuts them off and many times it makes them realize that they have a problem.
Keep You Distance
- One way to avoid being manipulated is keeping your distance from the addict. This is a very difficult proposition. Most times we love the person and we worry all the time about their well-being. We think that if we have them around that they will be safer and better off. This falls in line with the ability to say no. In order for the disease of addiction to be interrupted, it needs to be cut off from what feeds it.
Stop Blaming Yourself
- Addicts and alcoholics blame everyone else for their problems. It takes the focus off themselves. When they are able to play the victim they are filled with self-pity. Many times you’ll hear them say “If you had my life you would drink too.” You need to remember that you are not the one with the problem. It is not your fault. We also must remember that we did not cause the problem but we also can’t solve the problem either.
At Clearbrook we put a special emphasis on recovery not only for the people afflicted with the disease but their families and loved ones too. Addiction is a family disease. It has the ability to tear families apart. You can visit our page on the Family Education Program HERE. Please reach out to us as a family member any time. When the family and the addict get help together the chance at sobriety increases exponentially.