I have a friend – he goes with me everywhere and I’m beginning to wonder if he really cares. The trouble is, I don’t have many other friends since he’s been around, so he’s all I’ve got.
I talk to him and tell him that I don’t like what he does, but my friend Addy just laughs at me. Then, he continues to find ways to destroy my life. I think it’s time to get rid of him before things get worse, but I just don’t know how. He’s been with me for so long.
Addy Destroys my Health
Each day that goes by, my health continues to deteriorate. Addy continues to rob my body of the things I need. I don’t eat right, drink enough or sleep regularly anymore. I am constantly worried about keeping Addy happy.
Currently, I am suffering from anemia, cirrhosis, dental issues, hepatitis and the occasional seizures. I wonder if I will live much longer, but Addy doesn’t care. He just wants to keep going.
Addy Affects my Mind
Every day that I spend with Addy I feel my mind becoming more distorted and confused. He tells me that I’ve never been clearer, but I’m pretty sure he’s lying to me.
Before I met him I dealt with some pretty severe trauma in my life. Our early days together were beautiful because he helped me to forget all that. Now, my mind feels worse. I am paranoid and afraid all the time.
I’ve actually been thinking about suicide at times but I am not sure I could leave Addy.
Addy Steals my Money
I am constantly worried about money since Addy has come along. It costs a lot to keep him happy every day. He’s constantly nagging me to find more money, steal more things or rip someone off just to supply what he needs.
The problem is that even getting rid of him will cost me a large chunk of money that I’m not sure I have. If I go away to an inpatient facility to get away from him, I could pay a lot because I don’t have insurance. Even the clinic that says they’ll help me costs money every day.
Addy Destroys my Relationships
Before I met Addy, I had a family. They loved me and we had plans for our future. Then, Addy burst in and destroyed it all.
At first, I believed him when he told me how they didn’t care about me. He convinced me that they didn’t want me to have any fun. Now, I’m divorced and my kids have no father. On top of that, I don’t have a home. Addy doesn’t care though. He offers no support to help turn this around.
I miss my family. I think about them on birthdays and holidays, but then Addy starts tugging at me and I forget.
I doubt my family would even want me anymore anyway. After all the abuse I let Addy put them through. I didn’t protect them or defend them. The neglect was the worst. They just wanted my attention and I couldn’t give it to them because Addy is so loud.
I hope my kids don’t become friends with Addy one day. I hope they stick close to the family and friends that love them. I could teach them the right way, but I can’t seem to get rid of Addy.
Addy Took Away my Career
Once upon a time, I had a good career. You wouldn’t know it now. For a while, my employer tried to help. He asked me to leave Addy behind and even offered to pay for me to go away for a while until Addy left me alone.
Addy told me that he wasn’t an issue and they were picking on me. Then, Addy would convince me to stop showing up to work or he would often make me late. I got fired and proceeded to work any job I could find to help support Addy. Eventually, I couldn’t get a job anymore. No one wanted to hire me once I had more than three employers in the year.
Telling my wife I didn’t have a job anymore was horrible, but I wasn’t going to let her blame me for it. I can’t control it – it’s Addy’s fault. She didn’t believe that.
Addy Took my Freedom
Being with Addy inhibits my reasoning skills. Instead of thinking for myself, I turn to him to tell me what’s right. He lowers my inhibitions and helps me do things I would never have done before.
At first, the thrill was exciting. I felt like I was living on the edge and had finally broken free from the mundane life I was stuck in. But as time goes on, Addy continues to impair my decision-making skills in real ways and it hurts.
I’ve been arrested; more times than I can count. Those DUI’s and lawyer fees aren’t cheap. You would think Addy would pay for them since he told me to do it, but he doesn’t. Next time it happens, I am facing jail time.
I don’t want that, but he won’t let me stop. He keeps telling me that I can do it this time without getting in trouble. He has convinced me that I’ve learned how to do it right.
Thankfully, I haven’t gotten caught yet shoplifting to support Addy, but I fear that’s coming next. The more I hang around him, the less alert I feel. One of these times, someone will notice me. I will get caught.
Will he go to jail for me when it happens? Probably not! He’ll just laugh at me and make me feel bad about myself some more.
Why Do I Continue to Hang out With Addy?
That’s the question I ask myself every day! He hasn’t shown an ounce of care for me and honestly, he just continues to destroy my life.
I have moments where I feel good being around him, but they are few and far between now.
I’ve thought about getting away from him, but every time I try he shows up louder and bolder than ever. I just want him to be quiet. So…I give in again.
When will it be enough for me to leave? When I’ve overdosed? When I’ve killed someone driving under the influence?
I don’t know. I’ve already lost so much, it just feels so hopeless.
Can You Relate?
If you’ve allowed addiction to take over your life, there is hope! You don’t have to live this way another day. Take back control of your health, mental clarity, finances, relationships, and gain your freedom once again. Take the steps to walk away from addiction. It’s a friend that doesn’t care.
Contact Clearbrook For Drug & Alcohol Addiction Treatment
If you or a loved one has been able to relate to this man’s story, there may be a good chance that you struggle with drug or alcohol addiction as well. If that is the case, help is available.
For 45 years, the addiction treatment center, Clearbrook, has been providing quality addiction services to those suffering from alcoholism and chemical dependency. By offering a full medical detox and residential treatment program, we are able to provide you with the necessary tools to overcome addiction and achieve lasting sobriety.
Don’t be a slave to your addiction any longer. Please contact our Admissions Specialists today and get on the road to recovery.